The Lockjaw Emails: Part 1

The Lockjaw Emails: Part 1

Posted on April 24, 2019


Borrowing from the spiritual and literary genius of C.S. Lewis in his satirical masterpiece, The Screwtape Letters, I completed this short fictional work that depicts how I imagine evil working behind the scenes among us in daily life. Inspired by the Holy Spirit as we move into our anticipated Hope Month series, I aim to gracefully remind us all just who our enemy truly is. Our enemy is not the person who is delivering a message that is difficult to hear; our enemy is the force that doesn’t want you to hear the difficult truth.

Now is the time to get in the room and stay in the room.

Part 1 

Good afternoon Killjoy,
Welcome to the Spitfire Mentorship Program at Grimdeed Enterprises. My name is Lockjaw, and I am eager to guide you as you begin your successful career in tempting, misleading and seizing lost souls for our noble cause. Our organization began nearly eight decades ago by an astute group working in the European region, although several members of our executive team have been mentored by Our Father Below for centuries. Benefitting from this ageless wisdom and experience, we’ve demonstrated the ability to consistently bolster procurement rates for entry-level recruits just like yourself. We believe our top-notch mentorship program is directly responsible for the impressive market share we enjoy today.

Our unit is assigned to the Midwest region of the United States, and I’ll be onboarding you with the most effective acquisition strategies the company has perfected over the years. While the main principles of our four core strategies have remained relatively unchanged since our inception, we strive for continual improvement by fine-tuning and revising our tactics for maximum efficacy. You’ll want to be well-versed in the Core Four by your first quarterly review:
Offer Alternatives
Diverting attention away from the The Enemy’s objectives is the most basic and widely-used strategy of our operation. You’ll engage in daily maintenance activities to ensure that something else is always more urgent or more important for your assigned human.

Promise Answers
Human life is shrouded in mystery, a fact which makes them squirm with discomfort. The promise of worldly knowledge and certainty is a powerful tool employed in cases requiring a more advanced procurement strategy.

Induce Fear
Self-preservation and self-advancement are among the highest motivations of many humans, and threats to either can effectively prompt humans to bend their own value systems in defensive maneuvers. This is a heavy-hitting strategy.

Divide and Conquer
When we are able to persuade humans to work against each other, the likelihood that they work with The Enemy is substantially diminished. We aim to keep humans divided, and ideally quarreling about various issues. In addition, complete isolation achievements are handsomely incentivized!
Fluency in these strategies is absolutely crucial to ensure your future at Grimdeed Enterprises. As you know, we retain top producers only. I trust that you’ll put in the hard work required to hit your mark.
Take the rest of today to study the Core Four. Tomorrow, we’ll take a deeper dive into the demographics and characteristics of our target region as well as the long-standing programs our team has been running in the area.
Once again, welcome to the team!

Read Part 2 here.


Yes, indeed, Cindy! Haha! A career in marketing has given me a little insight into strategy development. ;)

Posted by Michelle W on April 25, 2019 @ 6:54 am

This is such a great update! Been n the corporate world much?😂

Posted by Cindy Benedict on April 24, 2019 @ 11:38 am