Identity & Purpose, Self Feeling Like Moses

By Michelle Williams


Last weekend, Amy talked about God using Moses for great things. Even when Moses didn't think he was good enough and tried to back down. I’ve been feeling a lot like Moses lately. Except it’s not that I don’t have the words. It may just be that I have too many of them and my internal filing system is a wee bit disorganized. I actually feel that God blessed me with an ability to express certain ideas well—in writing.

My writing process builds in lavish amounts of time for exploring and finding the right words to express what’s on my heart. I can refine my message to my heart’s content and try on each sentence for size to ensure I’m saying what I’m meaning. Writing is my comfort zone.

On the other end of the spectrum, speaking out loud in front of people may be the quickest way to remove me from any semblance of comfort. And the suggestion of praying out loud in front of other people has often made me want to hide in dark places where I’ll never be found.

Last week, I officially became a co-leader of my Grace Church Real Moms group. Praying out loud in front of other people sort of comes with that territory.

Now, my heart is full of love for these women. Many of us have been together in our small group for multiple years, and even our new members this semester all have connections with existing members. It’s a tight group. We all know we love each other dearly. I personally just haven’t always (ever) expressed that through spoken prayer. And for some reason, doing it turns me into a trembling bundle of nerves.

Approaching the semester, I knew full well that my weakness regarding praying out loud would be thrust into the limelight. I knew it from the moment the co-leader role was on the table—and in all honesty, it caused a moment of hesitation on my part. I hesitated partly because I know the importance of praying together as a small group. But I also struggled with a fear that the words in my heart would come out all wrong every time. Nevertheless, I decided not to cling to the idea that a small group leader must be able to gracefully pray out loud. I took the bold step forward as a new leader for our group. God doesn’t call the qualified—He qualifies the called.

God also redeems weakness and shortcomings. Leading up to the Real Moms kickoff, the Holy Spirit nudged me to realize that others in our group may share this same struggle. I have an opportunity as a leader to humbly expose my own vulnerability, which may open the door for someone else to take their own bold step toward a more prayerful life. And in community, we may be able to work together to deepen our personal prayer lives as well as our group prayer time. Maybe my blank slate is a gift and not a shortcoming at all.

The vulnerability was definitely exposed in week one as I clumsily stumbled through my first (scripted) out loud group prayer. I may not part the Red Sea before the semester is over, but I have plenty of faith that God’s got a plan for this. He always does!

Step Out

You might be feeling the same way. Thinking that you aren't good enough, smart enough, the best prayer or leader. Whatever you think your shortcomings are, it's likely God actually sees them as strengths. And, if you let Him, He will use them for something great. So, what is the one thing you're thinking you can't do? Volunteer? Lead a group? Change jobs? Go to school? Whatever it is, know that God wants to use you! And, if you need help figuring it out, that's what we're here for. And, we have a few next steps to jumping into your "Made for More" kind of life:

1. Join a Group.

You may have heard of Rooted. Imagine yourself in a community of people who cared for you, listened to you and supported you. What if you stepped into the Rooted journey and experienced personal transformation? Rooted is a catalyst for life change. Or, if you are a mom that feels isolated, I also invite you to experience Real Moms! It's a place where moms can come together to grow in relationship with one another and with God.

2. Volunteer

If you're thinking, "I don't know where to start" or "I'm not good enough to serve there," I am here to tell you differently. An easy way to get started is to visit the Grace Serving Page. It's filled with serving opportunities at Grace and in our local community. If you're not certain of what you're looking for, just leave a comment below and we can help you get started.

3. Resource Center

If you are looking for tools and resources to help you develop. Check out our Resource Center here.


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